Momentum

I've felt for the last few weeks as if I'm floating through my days.  There's been a strong, positive shift in focus at work (yes, I work a real job with grown up pressures and required results) and I'm riding a wave of momentum that seems to be self sustaining.  Not having to constantly juggle time vs. income vs. expenses has left me with a sensation of near free fall.

I saw a graphic the other day of the working routines of various well known creators and how they spent their time within a 24 hour period.  Kant and Mozart had the grey color tagged as "Making ends meet" on their chart, but Hugo, Milton, Dickens, Darwin had no grey. Just the gold of "Social & Meals" and the green of "Primary Work" scattered amongst white sleep and teal exercise.  They did not commute to work, slog through meetings, or bring their frozen lunch to forcibly thaw in the suspicious smelling office microwave.  They worked, they slept, they interacted with the people in their lives and the pressures of life were more about the creative path than the economic one.

 I'm left with a feeling of near awe that any of us engaged in creative work in these modern times spend any time at all in our true callings.

I work 6-8 hours a day earning my keep in a non-musical job - and I'm still writing, training, teaching on top of that.  My colleagues in music and art are all pushing boundaries, learning, teaching, and doing worthwhile work.  And at the same time we're all earning a living.  Some of us through art but most of us through whatever we can find to keep us going while we get on with the worthwhile work of creating.  Just having a few weeks now of not stressing over bills has freed up so much energy that I'm existing a few inches off the ground and for the first time I'm thinking that perhaps I'll actually pull this composer thing off. 

Perhaps I can keep a roof over my head and still be able to dedicate enough time and energy to music for me to do some decent work in this lifetime.  Maybe I don't need a patron (a lifelong dream) or to win the lottery so I can do what I do best - write.  Maybe all these decades of pushing myself and keeping my focus have created a set of tools in me that will allow me to get this music out of my head and onto paper while still earning my keep. It might be possible for me to work, really work, on music by simply easing the pressure of earning money back into a small, doable corner while I take the rest of the room for music.

I'm floating through my days right now, with a great deal of energy for creating.  Here's to finding ways to create regardless of what we have to do to live, in spite of all the demands on our time, and while keeping those we love safe and sound.