Level Changes

Now and again life seems to simply lift us to a new level. Suddenly we're operating on a new plane, pushing and focusing on ideas and projects that were once out of our reach.

My son and I took a trip down to California to visit with family and share the holidays. One stop had an enormous party, with magic and wonder galore. Another spot - right next door - had peaceful stillness, and a sense of reaching. Our last place to visit was empty, clear, and somehow waiting. All three places were a bit surreal, as I caught a flu bug going down and spent the weeklong trip in a fever.

My sister threw an amazing Christmas party, with actors, dancing, decorations everywhere, carolers, food and more food. Most of my memories are in snapshots and sounds - my son taking the dance floor with his cousin, the carolers' voices pealing out over the heads of the partygoers, the hired "pickpockets" darting through the crowded rooms, the actors playing Mr. & Mrs. Fezziwig turning in unison and gracefully greeting a latecomer, my mother laughing and holding court in a cozy room decorated to the brim with candy canes and sweets. Woven through it all was a bittersweet and tender regard for my family. This odd, wonderful family that drives me crazy and keeps me sane - and that is filled with people the likes of which I'll never meet out there in the wide world. Providing magic is work. I lost my voice working the party and spent a few days curled up on the couch gently riding fever waves and doing my best to keep my personality from capsizing in silent tears of bewildered non-connection.

Next door to my sister's house lives my mother. A force of nature, an artist in every sense of the word, she's been a touchstone for me creatively for most of my life. She's decided to paint again and is finding her way around the concepts of creation once more. Her home is quiet, simple, clear. Watching her work her way around the house as she works her way through ideas left me with the understanding that there is no end to what needs to be done and no reason why anything at all should not be attempted.

My mother plans. She dreams in steps and to-do lists. Her wishes are not distant stars, they're concrete bullet points that outline exactly how to get from where she is standing to where she wants to go. Her issue now is time and energy. It's not talent, or permission, or whether or not she can do something. She knows she can't use the same tools she used 15 years ago. She assumes that new tools will arrive. I left her home weeping with intention so fierce it made me grit my teeth.

Down further south, to South Central LA and my stepmother's house was the final stop. I love my stepmother greatly. The huge loft that once held my father's worktables and art projects as well as their living space was now half empty and nearly shimmering with a sense of whatever is next. My son and I were invited one level up to visit Halfland, a hand crafted puppet/animation universe (www.notesfromhalfland.blogspot.com). Watching the different puppets and sets I got the same impression as I had a floor below - as if the everything was ready to leap into motion at any moment and all I needed to do was wait and pay attention.

One week, one fever, several bits of information. Magic takes work. Dream in to-do lists and work with the tools that show up. Wait and pay attention. Now that I'm back home and it's the end of the year I feel as if the last 12 months of slogging through each day has been exactly right. All that grinding work and I'm somehow popped up onto a new level, with ideas flowing, plans and projects jostling for my attention and a clear flow of energy.

Happy new year. It's going to be stellar.